AUDITION (Japan, 2000)
Directed by: Takashi Miike
Starring: Ryo Ishibashi, Eihi Shiina

Anything you say about Audition is too much. So if you're looking for the ultimate psychosexual horror movie, or for a relationship comedy that will leave you sick and trembling, immediately turn off your computer and go buy a ticket. For those who need some convincing: read on.

Aoyama (Ryo Ishibashi) is a happy widower, a single parent raising a teenage son, who still mourns his dead wife during long, lonely nights with the Scotch decanter. A producer friend suggests he get married again: a good woman around the house will lift his spirits. But, Aoyama protests, it's tough to meet women at his age, and what goes unsaid (and maybe even unrecognized) is that the woman he wants to meet is submissive, but has character. Will cook and clean, but have enough of an artistic background to carry on a conversation. She'll be obedient, but not too obedient. She'll be convenient, but not an android. He wants what most guys want: an impossible contradiction that will cater to his every need, but not make him feel guilty about it. He is, in short, a pretty typical guy.

But his producer friend has a good idea: why not audition for a new wife? They can hold an audition for a fake movie, he can interview as many women as he likes, pick the one that interests him, and put the romantic squeeze on her. He can even meet her for dinner, alone, to tell her that she's cast, and then turn to her for comfort when "the movie" falls through. Aoyama is initially hesitant, but the idea works perfectly and even he can't argue with it when his dream girl walks into the room.

She's everything he wants. She's like a toy that comes complete. She's beautiful, she's polite, she has character (but not too much character), she used to be a ballerina, and maybe, just maybe, she's got something unspeakable tied up in a grimy laundry bag back in her flat. Is Aoyama's guilt making him crazy? Is she his dream girl, or is she a freaked-out psychopath who's going to make him pay for his arrogance? Is it all in his head? Or does she really want to saw out his deceitful little tongue?

Audition is a straight-ahead romantic comedy whose chuckles die in your throat as it turns into extremely disturbing horror. A feminist gore-ifesto, a slap in the face of middle-aged egocentrism, and a sexual abuse scenario that would leave Oprah Winfrey bent over the toilet heaving up her guts, Audition is a sadistic attack on the male fear of commitment. It electrified audiences in Rotterdam, and it packed in the crowds at Film Forum last year (although some people — mostly men, most of whom were in denial — hit the doors before it ended). Now here's your chance to catch one of the most harrowing movies ever made on the big screen. Trust us: see this one in the theater — you don't want to let this movie in your home.