THE BODYGUARD (Thailand, 2004)
Directed by: Panna Rittikrai & Petchtai Wongkamlao (aka Mum Jokmok)
Starring: Patchai Wongkamlao (aka Mum Jokmok), Tony Jaa

THE BODYGUARD 2 (Thailand, 2007)
Directed by: Petchtai Wongkamlao (aka Mum Jokmok)
Starring: Patchai Wongkamlao (aka Mum Jokmok), Tony Jaa

There’s an old Hollywood saying: if two cars smash into each other in mid-air and explode then you’re watching an action movie. If FOUR cars smash into each other in mid-air and explode, then you’re watching a masterpiece. The bastard brainchildren of Thailand’s famed comedian Mum Jokmok (who co-starred with Tony Jaa in both Ong Bak and The Protector) THE BODYGUARD and THE BODYGUARD 2 are searing satires of the action genre that manage to pack in a truck load of hard-kicking, bullet-pumping action courtesy of ace action choreographer (and Tony Jaa’s mentor) Panna Rittikrai.

Playing the shades-wearing, black suited bodyguard of a rich man who’s assassinated in a running battle between cater waiters and bodyguards, Mum Jokmok winds up protecting his client’s son who becomes a pawn in a corporate powerplay by his treacherous uncle. The son goes MIA, feigning amnesia and seeking refuge in a shack in the town dump that’s shared by both transsexual paramedics and hookers whose dialogue will sear your ears. Taking the time both to mock the mentally ill and to shed a tear for cute little orphans, THE BODYGUARD lurches back and forth from absurdist cynicism to over-the-top sentimentality  so quickly that it gives you whiplash. But the action is ace, and the humor is so bizarre that it’s actually funny. This is a movie in which the fourth wall isn’t just broken, it has a cab driven through it.

BODYGUARD 2 is a prequel that is, confusingly, set in modern day Thailand. Playing his own father, Mum Jokmok is a secret agent from a country bordering Thailand (probably Laos, but named Wongnaileum to avoid giving offense) who is sent to Bangkok to infiltrate a music company that’s selling...nuclear bombs! Actually the plot doesn’t matter as it’s just an excuse to pack in more action, more jokes, bigger explosions and more complicated car chases. Both movies also feature extensive cameos by a gaggle of Thailand’s most famous comedians and television personalities, as well as action scene showcases for Tony Jaa who appears in both movies as a hillbilly martial artist.

THE BODYGUARD and THE BODYGUARD 2 look like a bunch of Thai filmmakers discovered the “Action Adventure” section of a video store circa 1986 on an archeological dig and decided it was so hilarious that they would make one of these so-called “action movies” themselves, but were unable to keep a straight face while doing it. Close-ups are piled on top of close-ups, and even the slow motion is shot in slow motion, clichés and cheesy scenes are piled up one on top of the other until the both movies are a fractured series of action movie set pieces stacked into an absurd tower of babbel with Mum Jokmok leaping off the top, naked and on fire, a blazing .45 in each hand.