Q: What is a hopping vampire?
A: China's indigenous ghoul, the hopping vampire is an extremely pissed-off corpse reanimated through black magic.

Q: What does it look like?
A: Clad in Manchu finery, its skin blue or black with rot, its teeth crumbling, and completely blind, it tracks down its victims by sniffing out their warm breath.

Q: Where do they come from?
A: Hell.

Q: Where else?
A: Originally, the corpses were reanimated so that corpse herders could rope them together and lead them back to their home provinces for burial.

Q: Why do they hop?
A: Because they're dead. They've got rigor mortis. Duh.

Q: What do they do?
A: Their outstretched arms have razor-sharp fingernails at the end and they can smash through doors. Humans who are bitten or scratched by hopping vampires become vampires of the more traditional Western sort, who grow fangs and try to suck blood. They are relentless, unstoppable, and want to kill you very badly.

Q: Why do they want to kill me?
A: Because they're evil and dead.

Q: How can I kill them?
A: You can't. They're immune to bullets, and can be put down only by repeated kicks to the head, sucking their "corpse sting" out of their mouths or, failing that, being soaked in oil and set ablaze. This should be left to a licensed Taoist priest.

Q: Can you tell me anything else about them?
A: In Chinese, hopping vampires are called gyonshi. This is a good word to know. Go down to Chinatown and say it to people and they will think you're cool.

A SELECTED GYONSHI FILMOGRAPHY

1939 MOVING CORPSE IN THE OLD HOUSE
1957 THE CORPSE DRIVERS OF XIANGXI
1979 SPIRITUAL BOXER 2
1980 ENCOUNTER OF THE SPOOKY KIND
1985 MR. VAMPIRE
1986-1999 MR. VAMPIRE 2, MR. VAMPIRE 3, 4, 5, 6, NEW MR. VAMPIRE, VAMPIRE'S BREAKFAST, THE ULTIMATE VAMPIRE, THE MUSICAL VAMPIRE, DOCTOR VAMPIRE, VAMPIRE FAMILY, VAMPIRE KIDS, ALOHA LITTLE VAMPIRE STORY, HELLO! DRACULAR, LEGEND OF THE LIVING CORPSE, GHOUL SEX SQUAD and about five thousand other movies.